1PM All We Asked Was, "How Was Your Weekend?"

Female worker: I'm serious, I don't like to put things in my mouth that might squirt out! I mean--
Stunned coworker, interrupting: --No, you've probably said enough.
Female worker: I'm talking about the doughnut.

121 Zeeb Road
Ann Arbor, Michigan

 Hobo: You can't make me stay here! Fuck you! I'm leaving!
White nurse: Get out, then! Leave!
Hobo, to black nurse: How you doin', chocolate thunder?
White nurse, laughing: That's totally your porn name.

27th Street and 1st Avenue
New York, New York

2PM It Would Also Succinctly Communicate What I Think of Our Mission Statement

Peon to another at two-hour mark in meeting: I'd poop in my chair if I thought it would make this meeting more interesting.

Lakewood, Colorado