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June 30 Double FarckA long weekend, at long last! This is my first long weekend all year (I had to work the other two), and I'm going to relish it (with mustard).
It's a beautiful night here---the air smells especially nice tonight. Like...pine trees, and some sort of sweet flower, cut grass, rain, and wide open spaces. Bet you city dwellers don't quite dig what I'm saying. I had a nice drive home about an hour ago...down a back road, windows down, radio loud, crescent moon in the sky. I love driving on nights like this.
My week was pretty good--passed very quickly. I had Wednesday off (I was 'sick') and I got so much accomplished, things I haven't had time to do lately. Tonight I went out to dinner with some friends, a nice way to ease into the weekend. Don't really have any plans for the weekend, guess I'll just see where the day takes me.
On Tuesday I'm going to Green Bay, WI. I know, I know, you're all terribly jealous. I'm going for work, just an overnight trip. Actually, I'm flying into Milwaukee and maybe seeing a baseball game Tuesday night (you know how Tuckle loves baseball, pffft), then driving the 2 hrs to Green Bay on Wednesday morning to meet with a client, drive back to Milwaukee, and fly home that night. I feel just like Mary Tyler Moore. Maybe I'll start saying "Oh Lou!" more often. Or maybe I'll just start tossing my jaunty beret into the air more.
I learned a juicy piece of work gossip tonight. An unbelievable little nugget of news that I will be keeping to myself until it's public knowledge. Needless to say, I was shocked and a little ticked off---some people's work ethic, I tells ya. Farck.
Hey K-Mart; Keeter played hooky from work on Wednesday, and guess what he did? WENT TO NJ TO SEE DMB. Dirty rotten bastard. Double farck!
Oh, one more thing that happened on my way home--driving thru a small town, I spied something moving on the sidewalk. It was a wee bunny! What was the bunny doing on the sidewalk? Doesn't seem like a very bunnyish place to hang out. I didn't look in the rearview mirror because I didn't want to see if he got smushed. I hope he got home safe and sound.
Last item of news:
IceCaps from Tim's make me *hyper*. Really, really hyper. Take my word for it. I had one today and was talking faster than the speed of sound.
 We came thisclose to losing the Hoff today. Yikes!Praise the gods, he's okay!
 Beware the Hasselhoff!
Freak accident sends Hasselhoff to surgery Star hits head on chandelier, cuts arm on glass LONDON, England (AP) -- Former "Baywatch" star David Hasselhoff had surgery after severing a tendon in his right arm in an accident in a London gym bathroom, his spokeswoman said Friday. The 53-year-old actor, who played lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on the TV beach drama for 11 years, was shaving at a gym in the Sanderson Hotel on Thursday when he hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass, his publicist, Judy Katz, said. Doctors operated to repair the injury and Hasselhoff spent one night at St. Thomas' Hospital in central London, Katz said. "He's fine," Katz said by phone from New York. "He's out of the hospital and will resume filming tomorrow." Hasselhoff is working on an ad campaign for Pipex, a British internet company, she said. *edit-in case the pic isn't showing up, here it is June 28 OMG! Rogue's Gallery....My birthday is coming up soon.
*hint*
Bono, Corr take to high seas for album Bono, Andrea Corr and Gavin Friday are among the stars who appear on an upcoming double album called 'Rogue's Gallery: Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs & Chanteys'. Billboard reports that the idea for the album came from Johnny Depp and director Gore Verbinski when they were working on 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest'. Commenting on the album, Verbinski said: "I slowly became fascinated by the idea of a contemporary reinterpretation of the sea chantey. I imagined the artists that I listen to and respect doing their take on this age-old music: the song of the sea." Bono sings 'Dying Sailor to His Shipmates' on the album, while Corr and Friday perform renditions of 'Caroline and Her Young Sailor Bold' and 'Baltimore Whores' respectively. Other artists who appear on the album include Nick Cave, Sting, Lou Reed, Bryan Ferry, Jarvis Cocker, Rufus Wainwright, Kate McGarrigle and actor John C Reilly. 'Rogue's Gallery: Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs & Chanteys' will be released on the Anti label on 22 August.
June 27 100 Questions
June 22 ShenanigansMy sister and J-bot have way too much free time at work. My sister wrote the prose in pink, J-bot gets credit for the prose in blue.
A poem
So, there's this girl i know, she's a ho, she's calls herself my sister. my sister is a tramp, my sister is a sl*t, she don't know sh*t about nothing. she dances like a witch and talks like a brotha. she has a mole on the end of her the nose the size of no other. It's scurry. God damn that freaking mole is hairy
She is a dog has a voice of a frog She even has a pet hog
With friends/family like this, it's little wonder I get out of the fetal position long enough to even leave the house. More evidence of their paid free time: (again, sister in pink, J-bot in blue) Listen here you two!! At least Slutty has made an attempt to hang out with me ohhh you guyz are in fighting moods today eh?!?! I don't know why Tuckle is so afraid of commitment, it is very disappointing (note that I haven't said ANYTHING at this point) yeah tuckle, you should really get over that. it's quite an embarrassment to
Heheh, I love those two trouble makers.
***************************************** Interesting things I saw today: -A fox, running in a field. They're always littler than I remember. He looked quite happy. -A salamander and a bird, fighting. Seriously! The bird pecked at the salamander, and the salamander turned and reared up at the bird. -A woman of about 50 with a huuuge tattoo of the CN tower down the length of her arm. WTF? I hope she lost a bet or something. -Bobby, (the guy who does maintenance/repairs around our office) get slightly electrocuted while changing a light tube. I thought he was going to fall on my desk.
G, do you still read this?
June 21 The CoreysWhat the F happened to these two? How did Feldman turn out better looking than Haim??? June 20 Smells like a memoryScent is one of the biggest triggers of memory.
Tonight, I'm thinking of my Nan because my kitchen smells like rhubarb bubbling away on the stove.
My Nan was such an awesome lady, 'lady' being a word so seldom used, or even accurate these days. Smarter than almost anyone in any given situation, she never lorded it over anyone. She wasn't pretentious. I've never met a better conversationalist; she could truly talk to anyone about anything, and be funny and charming and intelligent on any given subject.
Though they lived right in town, my grandparents had an acre of land. My grandfather had a huge garden the entire time I was growing up, with a few rows designated for whatever struck Nan's fancy; blue potatoes, indian corn, heirloom tomatoes, strawberries. Around their property there were wild blackberry and raspberry bushes, a cherry tree (it was my job to scout the cherry tree and make sure the birds weren't eating all the cherries. I used to love running at the tree, yelling as loud as I could, arms flailing to scare the birds {and the neighbors too, probably), crab apples,and rhubarb. We'd eat rhubarb all summer, in every way imaginable; in pies, over yogourt (homemade, of course), ice cream, muffins, or my favorite way--stewed, not too sweet. That's how I'm doing my rhubarb tonight--just tart enough to make your cheeks pucker.
I learned many things from my Nan, some practical, some fanciful, but I think the most important thing she taught me was that if you're going to do something, do it to the best of your ability.
Nan lead by example. She was a housewife until I was in my teens, but there wasn't the stigma attached to that like there is these days. She definitely did not sit around eating bon bons all day, or watching the soaps. She ran their household as if it was a business. To this day she's the only woman (aside from Martha, I'm sure) I've ever known who, on few hours notice could have a dinner for 12 on the table--and it wouldn't just be any dinner, it'd be cornish game hens or rack of lamb with various garden bounty, something spectacular like Baked Alaskan or a flan (from scratch) for dessert. The table would be set with the best china, a freshly pressed linen table cloth, and flowers from her garden. She'd pull it off without breaking a sweat, without being tired or grumpy. Amazing! I wish I could sit at her table again, and help her with the dishes afterwards, her talking the entire time about everything and nothing. Teaching me.
Nan's been gone for 10 years now, and while I know I was lucky to have her for as long as I did, I wish she could have stayed longer. I can still hear her saying "Go get 'em, kiddo!".
Miss ya, Nan. Love ya!
 June 19 Monday, yarghMonday again. How does that happen? Weekends are TOO short, and I don't have enough vacation time. Hmmph.
I had a great weekend. Headed to Peterborough to see my Ant. Our friend Deb was up from Philly, so that was an added bonus. The weather was hot as balls all weekend, but there was a nice breeze coming off the Ottonabee. That made it bearable. Got a sunburn despite wearing SPF 45 and trying to stay in the shade. BB also made it to P'boro, which was cool. I haven't seen him in yonks. Such a fun, funny guy. Too bad he's a bit socially inept--once I invited him to see an exhibit at the ROM (since he lives relatively near there) on a strictly friendly premise and he told me he had to stay home and watch football on the telly. Ooooh, Tuckle got shot down! Anyway, he is hilariously funny and I enjoyed seeing him.
Yesterday, Slutty and I went over to JB's for Father's Day. Had a nice visit. I haven't really seen JB since his bday in April so it was good to do some catching up. Feck, sitting around in the hot as balls heat is tiring. I got home around 5pm, did a bunch of stuff and passed out shortly after 9pm.The whole weekend, gone.
I've been so bored at work lately. Just not challenged, or busy enough....my mind gets to wandering, which isn't usually a good thing. I've been there for 3.5 years, and this past year has been the hardest yet. I'm not looking to leave, not willing to let go of the little bit of seniority I have and start over...not yet, anyway. I know the situation with my boss is the crux of the problem, and I hope it passes soon. Otherwise, Tuckle might start panhandling or get a job at Timmy's or sumthin.
Matt doesn't believe me, but all of the sudden it occurred to me today that I didn't know whether swans could fly or not. They can. See, this is what happens when I get bored; I start thinking about random shizz...and then telling y'all about it...and now I'm rambling, so I'm gonna go do something productive.
This is my cousin, Sean. He's gonna get me a job at Tim's if I decide to bail.
June 15 You Can't Climb Until You're Ready To FallI think I've just about given up a battle I've been fighting for awhile. It seems futile to keep battling, and for sure it'd be healthier and progressive to give in. Anyone who knows me can imagine how easy that will be :)
Once at a party, someone who I'd only met a few hours before (and who was severely inebriated) got me in a headlock (seriously!! wtf?) and asked why I was fighting so hard. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about, and was more concerned about getting my face out of her armpit than doing some emotional ditch digging. I guess my stunned silence encouraged her, because she tightened her hold on me, repeated herself and added "What are you fighting against?". Releasing myself from her death grip, I shrugged it off as drunken rambling. She didn't know me from anyone, how could she make such a proclaimation?
Turns out that she was right. I've been fighting pretty much forever. Sure, it's a sort of passive-aggressive, not entirely healthy fight, but it's a fight nonetheless. It's my fight. It's what I'm used to. Even as I write this, I know how detrimental it is to keep it up....I've just never been someone who takes well to being told what to do, and I constantly assess what my thoughts on any given subject are, to ensure that they are just that: mine. Don't tell me what to think, how to feel, what to do. Push me and I'll push back.
I've definitely gotten better over time. I used to have a "get them before they get me attitude", and while it's still there, it has eased a bit. I still have the urge to be the first to leave, whether it be literally or figuratively. I still want to be the one who cared the most, who fought fairest and hardest. I don't want to let anyone get the best of me, or pull one over on me, or play me for the fool. Been there, done that. But I'm starting to realize that I'm just as much of a fool for not even getting involved. I'm ripping myself off, denying myself the experience.
For you, I'm going to let down my guard. I won't fight you. It's not easy, even now--I was talking to you today and had to resist the urge to fight. But I did it. This time. You're making me feel comfortable enough, letting me know it's okay to be flawed, to just be me, to know that you'll like me even at my worst and even if I come across as half crazy. I'm trying not to second guess why you like me--I'll just accept that you do (it's so hard). You're steady. You're accepting. You're there. And I'm glad you are. June 14 DMB Toronto 6/13Last night was fantastic!!
K-Mart and I met at the hotel shortly after 3pm, checked in and found out they had a SHUTTLE from the hotel to the venue, which was awesome....solved the aggravation of sitting in the parking lot, inching along trying to get onto Lakeshore after the show.
We had 7th row seats, to the right side of the stage (LeRoi's side). Turns out we were seated beside people we were seated near last year as well--really nice ppl (one of whom is from Ottawa {which is where K-Mart is from}), so that got things off to a good start. Ran into Donna, who I've run into at various shows for the past 5 years. We also saw Al and Barb, who I only see at shows...Al is Al Joynes, he's a DJ on Q107 (actually, he was on Q for a long time, but has been on a station in Ottawa for awhile. He's returning to the Q in a few weeks), and it was good to see them.
We got there in time to see Dave introduce the opening act, Matisyahu (http://www.matismusic.com/)...he's a Hasidic reggae rapper (yes, really)...I wasn't sure what to expect, but he was pretty good. I wouldn't rush out to by his album or anything, but as opening acts go, he was good. He can beatbox like nobody's business.
While Matisyahu was onstage, we could see Dave offstage watching the performance...in a quieter moment, K-Mart yelled and Dave looked over and gave him a wave and a thumbs up. Made K-Mart's night
Finally, DMB got onstage. 'Roi was wearing a Trailer Park Boys jersey, which was funny. They opened with 'Grey Street', a great way to start off--this was definitely one of the best shows I've seen in the past few years. No 'Crush' or 'Warehouse' (see if I ask you for another favor, Jeebus), but we got 'Tripping Billies', 'Dancing Nancies', 'Pig' (!!) and 'Dreaming Tree' (!!!!)...they also did a few new songs, which were great. Dave did a nice solo 'Sister' for an encore. Oh, and 'Everyday' was phenomenal....the crowd singing '#36' between the lines of 'Everyday'....THAT is why I like seeing these guys live so much, moments like that. Peace and love and all that good stuff.
Of course, some schmuck one row up and a few seats down was so inebriated that he spent most of the show hunched over puking into his beer cup. And when he wasn't puking, he was dry heaving. And when he wasn't dry heaving, he was passed out. I don't understand why someone would spend that much money and miss out on such a great experience by getting pissed out of their gourd.
After the show, we saw the tour buses pulling out, and Dave waved at K-Mart again, so he was thrilled. We managed to catch the shuttle right away, and Anwar the shuttle drive got us back to the hotel quickly (tho he did almost get us killed twice). K-Mart and I had a few drinks and called it a (great) day.
On my way north today, I stopped and saw Mr B-B. Had a good visit (oooh) and got some free stuff (thanks!).
It's so weird being around during the day time....so many old and young people around my little town. It was pretty annoying. I went the grocery store and was delayed numerous times being held up behind some old biddy. I guess the old and the young hide on weekends or something.
So, that was my day. I had the best time, really. I wish I was going to Saratoga with Keeter this weekend, the lucky bum. Alas, I will be in P'boro fending off mozzies and making witty repartee with editors. C'est la vie!
WTF?Has someone been F'ing with my blog? Some of the settings are changed, etc.
That's an unappreciated and unwelcome intrusion.
I'm going to go look for my voodoo doll now.*
*this comment has nothing to do with the above paragraph, it is merely coincidence June 12 DAAAAAAAAAVE!!!Dave, I'm gonna see you tomorrow night!
Me and K-Mart will be in row 7. We'll be the ones yellin' our fool heads off.
Please play Crush and Warehouse for us, k? Thx!
Please Jeebus, let there not be too many Americans there tomorrow night. June 11 SundayTuckle's been busy, y'all.
Today I:
-Ran some errands: groceries, pharmacy and banking, filled up the car. Ran into my Grandma and Aunt Fran at the pharmacy....I could hear them cackling two aisles away. I hope I have that much fun when I'm in my 70s.
-Then, I looked up some maps for me and K-Mart. Only 2 days until DMB at the Amphitheater! I'm stoked. Last night's setlist looks good. And, it's been too long since I've seen K-Mart. *Please* let us hear "Crush" (for him) and "Warehouse" (for me)!!
-Went to Wal-Mart and Winners with my mama. Bought boring stuff like laundry detergent and shampoo at Wal-Mart. Got a nice pair of sunglasses at Winners for $25--original price tag of $85 still attached, gotta love it.
-Came home and went into a bit of a cleaning frenzy. I don't know what the hell happens in the fridge, but damn there was some gross stuff in there. Homemade salad dressing I made a week ago morphed into some sort of gelatinous, putrid mess....what I think must have been a hot dog...brown lettuce, and a few other things too shameful to mention. All clean now!
-Talked to Nick (take it easy!!) and the Kster online for a bit...caught up on my emails. Did not look at porn.
-Washed all my bed linens, as well as a few loads of clothes.
-Sorted thru some mail that's been piling up.
-Called a friend (no, I wasn't on a game show).
And now I'm going to have some dinner and chillax.
I'm a bit boring, no?
- June 10 QueryWhat is the best thing that never happened to you?
Discuss amongst yourselves, and I'll think on this some more before posting my thoughts. Catch My DiseaseBen Lee, your hair looks like a mop and your song "Catch My Disease" makes me smile.
That is all.
June 06 Sister TalkAnother inane (possibly insane) conversation with my sister. In this performance, Sister A will be played by Tuckle, and Sister 2 will be played by Tuckle's sister.
Sister 2:Thats right Bra, i have SKITTLES today!
Sister A: Nice! I don't.
Sister 2: Ha ha, sucker! So dog, what's goin on? Sister A: I can feel that I have limited patience today....yes, even less patience
than usual, if you can believe it.
Sister 2: you don't have any patience so i'm really not sure what you meant by 'limited patience'. You're still full of shit, I see.
Sister A :By 'limited patience' I meant I have zero tolerance for a$$holes. You are Sister 2: hey, WHY don't you go choke on something?
Sister A: Did you invent some sort of new phone? One that you can reach thru and punch someone? Idiot. Choke on your Skittles.
Sister 2: Obviously my keyboard is broken. God.
Sister A: I think I just blacked out because of this conversation. Wiener dogs are cool.
Our parents must be *so* proud.
June 01 PhyllisMy mom is the 2nd of 6 children. Her youngest sister, Jo-Ann, was only 5yrs old when I came on the scene.
The first Christmas I was alive, Santa left two dolls under the tree at my Grandparent's house. One doll had a hard plastic body, and the other had a soft fabric body. Jo-Ann wanted the soft bodied doll, but was told it was for me (a soft bodied doll being more appropriate for a 4 month old infant, I guess). Jo-Ann was supremely pissed off at having to give up "her" doll, and I paid for it my entire childhood. Seriously.
As I grew older the doll, who I named Phyllis (after Phyllis Diller. I was a completely warped child, I know) became my favorite toy. Phyllis went everywhere with me. Jo-Ann tried to steal Phyllis every chance she got. We fought near to death over the doll. I became very overprotective of Phyllis.
Until the day I went across the street from my house to play with Sandra Hall. I was maybe 5 years old. I didn't particularly like Sandra because she and her sister were the neighborhood bullies, but she was the only kid around that day. I don't remember anything remarkable about that day, until my mom called me home and the older sister helped me cross the street.....once I reached my side of the street, I realized I had left Phyllis at the Hall's....and to my horror, Sandra had Phyllis' head trapped under the kick plate of her tricycle and was dragging her face on the ground. Not allowed to cross the street by myself, I started shouting frantically for Sandra to cease and desist, which of course she didn't, and I could hear her singing some sadistic little chant about Phyllis being deformed. I don't remember how, I guess my mom intervened, but Phyllis was rescued. Badly scratched and scraped, she was mostly intact. I clearly remember telling my mom that Jo-Ann had put a hit out on Phyllis (haha, I was *5*, how did I know what a 'hit' was? And I grew up in the sleepiest little town ever, not exactly a maffia hang out) and demanding that she contact a lawyer. Being used to her precocious child, my mom ignored my demans. Typical.
Phyllis is still around. She's missing a few fingers, and her hair is pretty ragged. She's actually in the Witness Protection Program (aka my Grandma's basement) because every once in awhile Jo-Ann still makes threats against her. She tries to sound like she's joking, but I take her seriously.
Jo-Ann's birthday is in a few days. I'm thinking Phyllis should make a surprise appearance at the party. Somebody should dial 9-1....just in case. Things could get pretty rough :) |
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